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Who would you give up your seat for?
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Post by
Patty
Interesting to see the notion of 'chivalry' pop up nice and early. I'll follow with another question...
Is a man giving up a seat for a woman (any woman) 'wrong?'
If it's only because they're a woman and they don't be as helpful to men, I'd say there
is
a little bit of a problem there.
Post by
Ashelia
Interesting to see the notion of 'chivalry' pop up nice and early. I'll follow with another question...
Is a man giving up a seat for a woman (any woman) 'wrong?'
No, the woman can politely refuse. I always appreciate it if I'm wearing heels or something. I always say no if I'm fine.
Post by
gamerunknown
Is a man giving up a seat for a woman (any woman) 'wrong?'
I wouldn't be offended if a woman were offended that I gave up a seat, but that's never happened. The only two times people have refused to sit down if I've offered them seats were one blind guy (he politely declined, though it was kind of awkward because he didn't know if I'd stopped talking to him). Then there was an elderly man that I offered my seat to and he said he preferred to stand so we struck up a friendly conversation. I prefer to stand up rather than sit down next to a stranger though, so I'm usually standing or sitting on a nearly empty carriage.
Post by
Squishalot
Interesting to see the notion of 'chivalry' pop up nice and early. I'll follow with another question...
Is a man giving up a seat for a woman (any woman) 'wrong?'
If it's only because they're a woman and they don't be as helpful to men, I'd say there
is
a little bit of a problem there.
Is positive discrimination a bad thing?
Back somewhat on topic, I go by the earlier comment of giving up my seat to anybody who seems less able to stand on a bus/train than I am (within reason - I'm not going to clamber through a crowd of people to let the old guy 10 metres away have a seat, because he's not going to get it before someone else steals it). Though (no offense, Ashelia!), I do tend to ignore anybody who chooses to be less able by virtue of what they're wearing.
Post by
Thror
I hate sitting in public transportation. I always get carried away with thoughts, and then I realise the bus/tram is full of people that should be sitting instead of me. In those situations I tend to just stand up and move a bit further from the seat so it is free for grabs. I find it ridiculous that I am expected to be aware of the condition of the people that stand around me. The best solution to this dilemma for me is not sitting at all. Quite often do I hop onto an empty bus and just take a stand without even thinking of sitting down. I do not find standing difficult, and it doesn't prevent me from reading, or letting my mind wander; the two things I do in public transportation.
Post by
xlanadenx
Interesting to see the notion of 'chivalry' pop up nice and early. I'll follow with another question...
Is a man giving up a seat for a woman (any woman) 'wrong?'
I think it becomes an issue when a woman
expects
a man to give up his seat because she's a woman.
Post by
931961
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Monday
Interesting to see the notion of 'chivalry' pop up nice and early. I'll follow with another question...
Is a man giving up a seat for a woman (any woman) 'wrong?'
I think it becomes an issue when a woman
expects
a man to give up his seat because she's a woman.
This.
Post by
donnymurph
I guess we go to Squishalot's question:
Is positive discrimination a bad thing?
(bear in mind the scenario)
Positive discrimination is indirectly perpetrated negative discrimination. I probably sound pedantic by saying that, but I think it's a huge issue in both race and gender relations.
Post by
woohaa
I'll offer my seat to people that aren't physically able to stand for the duration of the ride easier then i can. As far as women go my wife would kill me if i offered my seat to another women. If i wasn't married then i'd pretty much offer my seat to any women mainly because i was brought up that way. It's not good manners, polite or the right thing to do. it's just how i was raised.
Basically, if it's not ingrained into your brain to be nice to females then you won't be nice to your g/f or wife. And trust me if you only decide to act nice when your in a relationship...you won't be able to keep up the act forever.
Post by
UnholyDeciever
Interesting to see the notion of 'chivalry' pop up nice and early. I'll follow with another question...
Is a man giving up a seat for a woman (any woman) 'wrong?'
I think it becomes an issue when a woman
expects
a man to give up his seat because she's a woman.
I think this is the best way to put how I feel.
Post by
Patty
I guess we go to Squishalot's question:
Is positive discrimination a bad thing?
(bear in mind the scenario)
Positive discrimination is indirectly perpetrated negative discrimination. I probably sound pedantic by saying that, but I think it's a huge issue in both race and gender relations.
You made what I was going to say wordier and thus more intelligent. Agreed, though. It's a little thing, but I still think it's kind of wrongly upholding stereotypes.
Post by
Squishalot
I guess we go to Squishalot's question:
Is positive discrimination a bad thing?
(bear in mind the scenario)
Positive discrimination is indirectly perpetrated negative discrimination. I probably sound pedantic by saying that, but I think it's a huge issue in both race and gender relations.
You made what I was going to say wordier and thus more intelligent. Agreed, though. It's a little thing, but I still think it's kind of wrongly upholding stereotypes.
I actually agree with both of you, to be honest. I hope it wasn't construed that I positively discriminate - it was just a follow-up question from Patty's earlier comment.
I think a good example is the idea of holding doors open for people when travelling in a line of people. I always hold the door open for whoever's behind me as I'm walking through, male or female, and do that sort-of half-turn to make sure that they've got the door and that it won't slam in their face before walking on. What I've found is that women are significantly less likely to do that than men are, irrespective of the gender of the person following behind. I can almost guarantee that if a man holds it open for a woman in front of me, I'll need to catch it before it hits me on its way shut.
Post by
gamerunknown
^ I've done something similar, but that's because I don't want to awkwardly stand around while the first person passes me.
This
comes into play too. I've sometimes waited at a door just for the person to smile and continue walking down the hallway, then I shuffle off like an idiot.
Oh and recently I forgot how to say "you're welcome" in French, so I just ran off when someone thanked me for holding the door for them. Then when they got on the same coach I tapped my foot in embarrasment, which they interpreted as annoyance and they let me pass. Then it turned out they spoke English anyway. Derp.
Another time I waited in front of two girls talking to lecturers in the hallway, then apologised as I walked between the girls and lecturers and they got really pissed off because my bag brushed them as I walked past.
Socially awkward penguin!
Post by
ElhonnaDS
I generally would give it up for a young child or a parent with a young child, for someone elderly, someone who was injured or appeared to be sick.
Post by
donnymurph
I actually agree with both of you, to be honest. I hope it wasn't construed that I positively discriminate - it was just a follow-up question from Patty's earlier comment.
I think a good example is the idea of holding doors open for people when travelling in a line of people. I always hold the door open for whoever's behind me as I'm walking through, male or female, and do that sort-of half-turn to make sure that they've got the door and that it won't slam in their face before walking on. What I've found is that women are significantly less likely to do that than men are, irrespective of the gender of the person following behind. I can almost guarantee that if a man holds it open for a woman in front of me, I'll need to catch it before it hits me on its way shut.
It goes further than holding doors. I'd love to see honest statistics (oxymoron, I know) about the frequency of race or gender popping up as a contributing factor towards hiring someone for a job.
Post by
Squishalot
Oh sure, but we know that people are biased when it comes to hiring. I was looking for something that was fairly weighted towards one side in everyday life.
Post by
MyTie
If a woman gets offended because I offered her my seat on a bus, then that is her problem. The truth is, I don't care what she thinks. I don't offer her my seat because of her. I offer her my seat because of my grandma. She taught me to give my seat to ladies, so that is what I do.
Post by
donnymurph
Your grandma has flawed values. A woman chosen from society at random has no more right to that seat than you do.
Post by
MyTie
Your grandma has flawed values. A woman chosen from society at random has no more right to that seat than you do.
Maybe. She also told me to eat with my fork, not my hands. I don't know why. I have a right to pick up my food with my hands. Outdated manners. Am I right, donnymurph?
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