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Bullying
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Post by
161638
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Patty
I find it interesting that people are focusing on physical bullying and not the ostracisation, taunting and betrayal that forms emotional bullying, especially when there are no real laws that can be tied back to the event (e.g. assault).
Not to mention, the emotional bullying is usually worse than physical bullying. Agreed about emotional bullying being ignored though, even by people like teachers/bosses. It's worth remembering that bullying can continue in the workplace, it's not just a school's issue.
Post by
Azazel
Bullying is bad, beat up your bully if you are getting bullied. It works every time.
And if you're less than capable of physically overpowering the bully...? Using violence is probably much more likely to backfire than it is to succeed.
My bully was a head taller than me and way stronger. But I got so pissed off after all that time that I just kicked his ass. It's all about willpower.
....That seems more than a little optimistic. I managed to rip the Empire State Building from its foundations. It's all about willpower.
Well, a lot of bullies aren't too strong or brave and pick on people smaller than themselves to feel better. Just stand up for yourself. Even if it means a hit n' run nutshot.
I don't think you're understanding the point we're making.
1) A hell of a lot of the impact of bullying is psychological. Even if people theoretically are not invulnerable, you may think they are. You're too afraid to do anything, as much as it may be needed.
2) You're at a major disadvantage in many cases, most the time bullies don't work alone. In many cases victims are, or feel like they are.
3) Violence in itself achieves, basically, nothing.
Screw it and emrace your inner rage.
Post by
Rystrave
I was bullied once. I was in kindergarten and a boy in my sister's grade, five years older, would just scare the living crap out of me everytime he saw me (pretty sure he had a crush on her lol).
I finally had enough crying and being scared that I told my teacher, who scolded the boy. The next day he came down to the kindergarten room, kneeled down to my level, looked me in the eye, and started bawling! He was so sorry! I gave him a hug and he cried more. I'll never forget that lol
But back moreso on topic, some people can't fend for themselves. I've noticed that most bullies have terrible home lives and take out their frustrations on the inferior. Also in my noticing, most bullies parents don't believe in punishing their child (they want to be their BFF), thus the child not being afraid of repercussions that should result in hurting another human, emotionally and physically.
It's not up to the school's to parent the children. It's the parent's job. I feared my mom and dad if I ever did something wrong.
Post by
gnomerdon
i'll share my experience.
i was a 4th grader, and this kid kept teasing me. he did it for about 2 weeks straight. he would circle around me, make fun of me, laugh at me, and all around make me uncomfortable.
one day, i lost it, i grabbed him, pushed him against the wall, and elbowed him in the mouth. after that moment, he stopped bothering me, but there was bad blood between us. 1 outside kid wanted us to forget everything, so i shook hands with him and after that, everything was mutual respect.
it takes confidence to stand up for yourself, especially if you don't even know how to. it took me 2 weeks of anger building to explode the way that I did. all the way up to high school, he's never spoken to me, and i've never spoken to him.
so, how did I solve my bully problems, violence. since this is how I broke out of it, I would recommend this technique to anyone under similar circumstances.
Post by
gamerunknown
Fighting back doesn’t always work.
First time I remember ever “ratting” on someone was in Reception (younger than Kindergarten) when I was pissed off some black kid said he was better than me because black people have bigger penises (I was informed that was why by my mum, didn’t remember that fact...). All I remember was a teacher coming into the classroom and saying that we needed to have a talk with the headteacher and crying all the way there, because I thought I was going to get in as much trouble.
I was targeted because I had an American accent (started secondary school after the invasion of Afghanistan), among other things. I was overweight and crap at PE which couldn’t have helped. I was quite religious too, but people equally picked on this one atheist girl... Making the sign of the cross.
Tried to stab one guy with a ruler and nothing happened. I would have revelled in his blood.
Asked someone to join his football game, he did a flying kick to my stomach.
Second fight I initiated, the guy didn’t retaliate. I tried throwing a table at him and eventually got internally excluded.
Tried to fight one guy, I don’t even remember the pretext. A bunch of people gathered around me and started raining blows. I was kicked in the legs and punched in the back while trying to fight this one other guy. We both walked away from the fight though, which is always something to aim for.
Next fight I chickened out when a similarly large crowd gathered, which didn’t help. Eventually a friend of mine held down my hand, sprayed deodorant on it and a girl lit it on fire. Then she hid the lighter down her bra.
Also filled my pencil case with deodorant and lit it on fire. Got excluded. My school said they believed the atheist girl’s testimony more than mine because her parents donated money to the school.
Switched schools, had an anti-bullying assembly, said something about “an egalitarian utopia”. Get outside, some guy punches me in the face and elbows me in the mouth. Teachers pretend they don’t see anything.
Later takes money off of me and offers to sell me a knife.
Hit in the back of the head by some other guy, got temporary aphasia. Very scary when one can’t express yourself physically to begin with.
Got mugged outside of school – actually probably one of the least traumatising events to happen in this list, but my friends ran away from me. I also had a 3000 word essay on a memory stick that I forgot to make a backup copy of.
Jeremy Clarkson wrote “bullying is character building”. Much like rape is, or how genocide adds to a nation’s scenery. Still leaves a bad taste in my mouth to see adults mock suicidal children.
That said, while violence didn't work in my case, I would gladly torture most of the chaps involved to this day. I suppose in that way bullying does contribute to personality. Maybe Azazel's predilection for loli had a similar basis? I can certainly see how it would work in a chain. I tried to demonstrate that demonstrations about how violence is unacceptable by utilising violent means is pointless to a rather dense friend by pushing another friend over a wall, but for some reason he refused to speak to me for a year after that.
Post by
gnomerdon
nope, fighting doesn't work, but sometimes it does. it varies between people
Post by
Morec0
Bullies are like trolls, you have to ignore them or else they'll never let up. At least, this works with non-violent bullies, like the ones I had to put up with. That, at least, was character building. And while I don't disagree that it can have deadly results, the entire impact of the situation lies completely on how well the target of the bullying handles the situation. Me, I was either to cowardly or too stupid to do anything about it other than take it and move on. Made me whom I am, I think.
For violent bullies: get the hell out of there, if you have the option. If there's another school around, have your parents transfer you to it. If that's not an option, do not wait for the situation to escalate any further. Immediately go and talk to your teachers and principals and parents to have the matter put to and end. If that still dosn't work because your peers and complete idiots, I suggest in martial arts training.
EDIT: Or just talk to the bully. Funny story: the earliest bully trouble I had, elementary school, was the result of the bully thinking I was bullying him. One day I pointed out his actions to him, he pointed out my actions (or supposid actions) to me, and we agreed to never speak to one another again. That was the end of it.
Post by
Orranis
I do still think that is the essential difference though. Cyber-bullying isn't necessarily 'worse,' it's just more scary to adults/parents because it's in a more alien form to them, it's the same thing but more noticeable. I kind of dislike the amount of attention cyber-bullying gets as this kind of new and scary thing while it's really not that different to any other type of bullying, just in different form.
Post by
gamerunknown
Took martial arts training. Confronted with a guy with a knife, I forgot the drill to attack him in the jaw with my wallet and went back to an earlier memory: give the guy what he wants and he'll leave you alone. It worked for me.
For another friend that got mugged recently, the guy that took his phone and wallet smashed his head into the wall afterwards and he's still got a scar there. So it's not always effective either.
I remember one girl was an asylum seeker in my class in primary school, I don't remember why she was ostracised - perhaps because she didn't speak a lot of English. But people laughed and jeered when someone came in to tell her that her father had died in Somalia. I can't really top that.
I fell asleep on the bus once coming home from school on my birthday though and I woke up to someone hitting me in the face repeatedly. That wasn't fun. Didn't even know the guy.
Edit: watched the second linked video: "safety of all students"? What vile ass-covering. Takes a whole lot of complicity from adults twice the size to ignore bullying.
Double edit: Uhnf, I honestly try not to remember anything over a few years ago since circumstances have gotten considerably better. I just remembered that there was a game called "knuckles" though, where one's opponent span a coin and one tried to catch it between one's knuckles. If one failed, one made a fist and placed the arm perpendicular to the table - the opponent then slid it using his thumb at one's knuckles, leaving impressive scars. I remember once lifting my knuckle slightly in cowardice, then offering to get hit by several people in a row as penance. My knuckles were bleeding. I think that's when I began hitting walls too - I never self-harmed, but I can see why people would do it simply to build tolerance to pain. If it's what one is going to experience daily, it's best to get used to it.
Post by
Sweetscot
I don't know what the answer is but I surely do hope that there is one. For me the answer came in changing schools and then I learned that there's a vast difference between being "not the in crowd" and being harrassed day in and day out like I was at my first school.
I had reached the point where it was going from all psychological to physical and I had to beg for over a year but my family finally realized I was right and someone was going to get hurt if I wasn't removed, whether it would have been me (I'd already been in 2 7v1 fights one i lost one i didn't but only because I resorted to crotch shots and they were all boys..I'm not) or them...the final straw I think was when I snapped and sent one of them over 2 rows of desks and into the teachers desks. I was unusually strong for a girl then and I think that was part of what ticked off the guys.
The biggest issue I see is that after Columbine teachers didn't go after bullies...they went after the bullied. Thinking that those who had been bullied were going to snap and watching them and making their lives even worse. I think it would be nice if parents could handle but to me it seems that many bullies are bullies because of their parents...some have abusive parents, absent parents, parents that are just clueless....they're not going to be able to fix anything. I think workplace issues would be less prevalent if this stuff gets adressed and fixed in schools. Like I said I don't know exactly what the answer is but I think that the place and time to fix it is in schools.
Post by
KingdomKnight
The problem with bullying in school is that the faculty is often too afraid or doesn't care enough to interfere. The irony of this is that some children get pushed over the edge and try to take care of things themselves, injuring, or even killing people.
I do think that it's a problem and there is no need for it. Life is difficult enough without people needlessly making it worse for themselves, and others. However, there are just as many people that believe that the children being picked on deserved it. I don't even know what to say about these people.
They don't understand what they're doing, and don't worry about the consequences. I don't feel bad for people who push around others and then get hurt themselves. School shootings should be a reminder to, 'do unto others'. Every action can have consequences.
As for bullying outside of schools, you don't have to spend time with those people. If they harass you, you can call the police, get a restraining order, speak to a supervisor, quit, etc. Children often don't have these options. I don't see any way to fix bullying. There's a limit to what can be done about it. Except population control. (sarcasm, sorta)
On a side note: Sweetscot, you're awesome..
Post by
Rankkor
I find it interesting that people are focusing on physical bullying and not the ostracisation, taunting and betrayal that forms emotional bullying, especially when there are no real laws that can be tied back to the event (e.g. assault).
ejem, in my post I did discussed verbal and emotional abuse (which can be just as bad as physical abuse if not worst) :P
Post by
324987
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
909566
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
Squishalot
I find it interesting that people are focusing on physical bullying and not the ostracisation, taunting and betrayal that forms emotional bullying, especially when there are no real laws that can be tied back to the event (e.g. assault).
I don't like talking about emotional bullying, because there is no recourse, no solution, nothing can be done but to try to desensitize the self. If you can't even get authorities involved in physical altercations, what chance do we have with lies and entrapment?
I disagree - if you ask me, that's all the more reason to talk about it.
ejem, in my post I did discussed verbal and emotional abuse (which can be just as bad as physical abuse if not worst) :P
Was just a general comment, not aimed at each and every single person who posted.
Post by
baradiel
Poor Kid :(
this kid got bullyed since 1st grade.
Post by
gnomerdon
sad youtube clip. best of luck to him.
edit: my esteemed collegue vikingboy11 brought up something interesting about him. i take back everything I said.
Post by
324987
This post was from a user who has deleted their account.
Post by
gnomerdon
:l
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