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How much WoW is too much?
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Post by
471655
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327680
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485979
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Post by
Onijitsu
The typical medical / psychological definition of when something is a disorder, is: does it interfere with your daily life, with the quality of your life, and/or with your ability to have "normal", fulfilling relationships, jobs, and other life-roles?
This sounds to be the case, from what you're saying.
You're not going to convince her it's a problem easily, if at all. You probably recognize this. And you can't make the decision for her. She's going to have to make her decision.
And you, very likely, are going to have to make yours. Harsh, but most likely the truth.
Post by
556842
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Post by
Cadoan
Your girlfriend does have a problem. If she's screaming and kicking when you want her to leave the computer, well, that is a severe problem. As said before in the thread, I can't tell you what to do, but if I were you I would try to get her some help.
Post by
BvH91
I don't think she's spending too much time playing WoW per se. It's just, from what you describe, other activities and relationships are being jeopardized. As the first poster said.
I mean, I've had days where I told my friends off just to get cozy behind my computer and play some videogames. But you can't keep on doing that.
Anyhow, there's no clear solution here. You might want to consort to websites but they will probably tell you to engage in talking. (And they'll tell you that playing more than two hours a day is hazardous. *snort*)
What I can tell you though, don't do anything that'll get her angry, as in flipping out. I mean, she might not be willing to talk to you and that's okay for now, but don't unplug the internet (for example) because you'll start a war, a cat-and-mouse game between the two of you. That's the last thing you want.
What I'd do, is force her into a serious dialogue (not multitasking WoW & talking, dinner perhaps?), and tell her that there's nothing wrong with playing WoW (you might want to be explicit about that), but you do feel that she plays it so much that it's hurting other aspects of her life. Hopefully for both of you she will recognize the problem and you can work on it. If she doesn't, then I predict the worst. As they say, recognizing the problem is the first step to recovery.
Post by
293303
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Post by
Onijitsu
A good entry, above.
You may want to phrase things as, "This is creating problems for Us," instead, however. As long as you keep the focus on how this issue is affecting your relationship -- and possibly, your income (also part of your relationship), since she doesn't currently hold a job -- then it will be much less likely to be perceived as "an attack" by her.
She may
still
react very defensively to any approach you take to the matter... Especially, if this has been an ongoing issue, and she perceives you as having nagged, badgered and harangued her about it for a long time.
For some people? Game addiction gets bad enough that they must leave it forever, in order to resume a "normal" life... Much like a recovering alcoholic can never really "socially drink" again. Only the two of you will be able to determine what course of action is best. (You can expect her to be very resistant to anything which will separate her from WoW)
A little couples counseling might not be a bad idea. It costs money, but just how far are you willing to go in order to correct things?
But be prepared: you will likely need to make some concessions to her, in any mediated outcome. I'm sure you're not the perfect partner either. No one is. ;-)
My wife and I have had to find a balance in our life together, between jobs, kids, WoW, and schooling. At times, we have had to rein some things in with WoW, in order to keep things at a healthier level. But, there are still nights when I'll cook an early dinner, so that she and I can get in on a raid, whilst the kids play before bedtime.
Post by
231012
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Post by
Kailhun
It's been a while since someone has asked what to do about 'too much Wow' by a loved one.
I suspect the best advice to give is: don't ask us! We're not professionals. We have no experience in diagnosing or treating addictive behaviour. We play a game. Do you ask a barman or patron of a bar how to diagnose or treat alcoholism?
If you think there's problem, go see a professional. They'll be able to guide you to helping her (if needed). Sometimes the most logical way to tackle a problem is also the worst.
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552705
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Post by
Pachuca
I was unemployed for a few months last year and spent a bit too much time playing WoW as well, so I can understand where both the OP and his girlfriend are coming from. I know I've had my share of days where all I do is wake up, launch WoW and leave it open until 2am, only stepping away for bathroom and smoke/refreshment breaks.
I think what it comes down to is getting priorities straight. At the time, getting my dailies done and exhausting all my weekly raid lockouts was important to me, as well as getting my alts geared and leveled. I wasted too much time concentrating on my online avatars that I forgot about my real-life responsibilities — including finding myself work and nurturing my friendships.
To the OP:
what you should probably do is talk to your girlfriend about your concerns, but be careful not to place the blame on her or the beloved WoW. The problem is not the game, it is her perspective of her priorities. She needs to realize, by herself, what her priorities should be.
If she's unemployed, maybe finding a job should be top priority. If that entails creating a resume or portfolio, then doing so should take precedence over video gaming. Another suggestion would be for her to take up another hobby to distract her from the computer for a few hours here and there. That hobby should be something off-line. Pop-o-matic Trouble is actually a very competitive and addictive game ;)
Next on her list of priorities should be something she can do around the house. If she's unemployed, she's probably spending a lot of time at home, so put her to work! She could be cleaning the house, gardening, knitting, hanging pictures on the walls... stuff that she enjoys but will keep her occupied and also benefits you as a couple. I know my GF would be impressed to come home to a clean house, dinner ready, and finding the new bathroom shelves installed!
Lastly, she could be nurturing her relationships. Whether that means doing something small but nice for you, or reconnecting with her friends, she should be doing something to let the other people in her life know that she cares.
Post by
495775
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Post by
Adamsm
Honestly you shouldn't get all serious with relationship talk as the first step in dealing with this problem.
The above posters have some good logical and direct approaches, but most women dont think logically like that. Maybe be more subtle, or she will probably only get @#$%ed off.
So here is my little plan....
First step:
You know the south park episode "make love not warcraft'? Get her to watch it with you.(you can stream it online for free.)
If she will not log off WoW do whatever it takes to make her watch it with you. Flick her neck, sit on her, and slap her around a little. Basically bully her into watching it with you. Be gentle don't actually hurt her.
Step two:
Make sure to laugh your @ss off when watching the episode,and pay attention to what actually happens in the episode.
Now both of you have watched it together. Why is this important?
You now have some great material to tease her with, or say lines from the episode. This will get her thinking about the episode, and hopefully make her look at her own self esteem after seeing what happens to the boys of south park.
Ex. explain she will starve to death if she doesn't come shopping with you to get more Hot Pockets.
ex. put a bowl or bucket behind her chair, and say she is all set or start a count down.
ex. "still playing wow? eewww i dont want my girl gettin all fat like the boys in south park." Then start to poke the chub on her side stomach repeatedly.
ex. "Whats that smell? Awww how long have you been sitting here? please don't tell me you have a gravy trail on your underwear."
Its also very important to consider her current self esteem and sensitivity when laying this stuff out. Don't go to hard if she is pretty sensitive. Last thing you want is her throwing **** at you.
Step three:
Switch it up a little. You don't want to be giving her the south park treatment all the time because it will annoy her to much. During this off time the best thing to do is actually the complete opposite.
Get her relaxed by massaging her shoulders, playing with her hair, or whatever you like to do while she is playing WoW. And its a bonus if she logs to jump your bones =)
So if you really like this girl I would suggest giving this stuff a try for awhile. Before getting all serious with her to play the- this is bull**** and I'm finding another women card.
So in conclusion:
Tease her, and light bully her 70% of the time.
Do the opposite 30% of the time.
Understand? You don't wanna be doing this stuff for hours on end. Just once in awhile when she is playing WoW to much.
Also, having a girlfriend that plays WoW is pretty sweet. Don't get her to stop playing completely.
PS. I have a question. Does she or both of you play on an RP server?
Step Four: She breaks up with him for being a f***tard.
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